“What we are really discussing is culture. We say that fundamental human rights should transcend local culture - and yet we own up to the fact that frequently, they don’t.” – Secretary-General, Commonwealth Speech for International Widow’s Day

Becoming a widow is a circumstance that is not within a woman’s control. For us, it seemed an injustice that some women had to suffer because of their husbands’ death. But we also wondered if it was in our position to judge a culture and its tradition. Beyond the issue of widowhood, we believed that the discourse should be about the treatment of women.

We were thus compelled to embark on this topic. Our aim was to understand the culture, document the situation as accurately as possible, and hopefully, to find answers to our personal thoughts.

Activists and people with like-minded interest in the subject shared their experiences and knowledge with us. This was how we learnt about the historical background that led to the formation of attitudes and treatment towards the widows. To understand our subject better, we stayed with the widows in a private home, visited street and ashram widows in their homes, and chanted bhajans in the Bhajan Ashram with them.

Through these experiences, we learnt about the reasons which they came and the difficulties they faced. Needless to say, we enjoyed these interactions very much. The irony is that while most widows yearned to devote themselves to the Lord, they are also here for batta batti. Interestingly, although these widows depended greatly on donations for survival, many of them were also very independent – refusing offers of help in their day-to-day activities, albeit health problems and old age.

We were touched by their fight for survival despite the harsh environment and the conditions imposed on them. Their tenacity has been a learning point for us.

Although ancient practices have gradually faded away and the widows are no longer ostracised, neither are they integrated into the society. The root issue is gender inequality in the society. As India modernises, there is more recognition for women rights in the society. As the widows situation improves, which we are sure will happen, that will be time to re-document the lives of these widows.